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Greg Gutfeld: So what about yesterday’s rocket launch? Elon Musk and President Trump? Watch starships take off from the city called Boca Chica, which means little mouth in Spanish. But while the president-elect celebrated his rocket’s takeoff to cheers from the crowd, the outgoing president also took off to cheers of a different kind.
You know, when people shout that to Joe, he usually says, “Sir, that’s a houseplant, not a toilet.” But why was he in such a hurry? Literally, he might have really had to go.
This is a story of two takeoffs. One is a trip to space. The other is the car to the rest area. But Trump is not traveling alone. The world seems to be going well. Funny, just a few weeks ago, Trump was a threat to world peace, even though the only real threat we faced was Joe Biden mistaking children for dinner. But now foreign leaders are suddenly getting along.
Australia’s ambassador to the US previously called President Trump the most destructive president in history, but now congratulates him and looks forward to working closely with him. No wonder Australians invented the boomerang in Canada. Justin Trudeau, the first transgender prime minister, suddenly cracked down on untested immigration. He had a tough talk there for a while until someone showed him this photo.
Former Acting Director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Thomas Homan speaks during the third day of the 2024 Republican National Convention at the Fiserv Forum on July 17, 2024 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (Andrew Caballero Reynolds/AFP via Getty Images)
In Mexico, left-leaning President Claudia Sheinbaum refused to recognize Trump’s candidacy on voting day. Mexico has a Jewish president in Sheinbaum. Maybe she would agree with President Trump building the Western Wall. I know you don’t deserve that joke.
Trump then said the US would release information it has about Mexican politicians who are in bed with cartels. Suddenly, Sheinbaum is cracking down on his borders, but soon Claudia may welcome 10 million people she recognizes. Be prepared for an influx of gangsters, drug dealers, and even washed-up celebrities.
Get to know Donald Trump’s Cabinet: Who has been chosen to be the next president so far?
Trump has provoked leftist foreign leaders like the Quarter Pounder at the PETA rally. But is it all Trump’s fault, as he himself said? They aren’t following him. They’re after you and he’s just a nuisance. And the truth is, you’re the one who’s had enough. All it takes is President Trump to make it clear the world understands.
Daddy is home, so it’s time to clean up the mess. And you can’t hide behind legacy media that’s more depleted than the battery in Rosie O’Donnell’s back trimmer. But the world actually wants this. The world wants this.
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I needed someone to peel off the Band-Aid. It wasn’t Joe or Kamala. Joe lacks upper body strength and Kamala doesn’t have a good enough accent to please the whole world. But everyone knew the Earth was messed up. Lo and behold, even the bad guys are picking up the toys and crawling under rocks. Qatar just confirmed that the leader of Hamas is no more.
For things to work in the world, sometimes someone has to stand up and say, “Let’s end this, folks. Enough is enough.” That man is Trump. But he’s also got us all. No wonder the world is scared. It might be the only thing they ever got right.
