KB: We have a support system in place. And I’m sorry for taking personal time to think freely and just be an adult. I teach Jason to take time for pleasure.
and how do you explain your parenting style?
KB: Oh, no contact at all. My parents were rule makers and I had to follow the rules without question. They didn’t teach me about emotional regulation. They didn’t even have that language. What they taught me was that I wanted to raise my children differently. Because it doesn’t just create a parent-child relationship, it creates a lifelong partnership.
I love how your book shows a black father teaching his black son how to understand his feelings. Why was
JRB: We thought it was very important to get the message out to people, especially those in the black community, to be open about their feelings, even negative and painful feelings. This story is encouraging. If you can’t express your feelings, you can’t have deep and meaningful relationships with others.
KB: The media can make the Black experience look monolithic, but there is so much intersectionality. It is wonderful that children grow up understanding the complexities of the human experience. I wrote these characters to match their image in the hope that people would come to love them more.
Jason, how did having a funny black queer dad affect you?
JRBs: Having a black queer dad is definitely the coolest thing I’ve ever been through. Plus, he gives great tips on how to arrange furniture in your home.
KB: Bring your own authenticity to every relationship, including your relationship with Jason. I am not afraid of my feminine or masculine. As a queer parent, I have the freedom not to play gender roles. This freedom allows me to think and live outside the box.
Karamo, I truly believe that you are our ancestors’ greatest dream. what does that mean to you?
KB: Every day on the daytime talk show, I go up to the stage and think Baird Rustin And all my ancestors who came before me. Think of all the untold stories of your ancestors. I often wonder how they would feel knowing that I, as a black queer man, have a national platform to talk about important issues involving emotions.
I also realize that one day I will be an ancestor, and I dream of a black queer president and his partner walking out of the White House with their children playing on the White House lawn. . I dream of a young black child who is interested in science and grows up to cure cancer. I hope you will be my spiritual guide.
Do you have any plans to write a book about how black queer identities positively influence parenting approaches? I had to ask!
KB: Jason nods his head, “Yes, let’s do it!” Anything is possible.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
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