problem:
I always thought my father was right, but it turns out that’s not the case.
I worked with my father for almost 30 years, taking care of the cattle and growing the crops. He was a self-employed man and never wanted to sell or gift me any part of the farm because he heard I would not receive the “step-up standard.” He would often say, “Just wait until I’m gone and the farm is yours.”
My dad recently had a heart attack and passed away two days later. After reading the will, my sister and brother were shocked to find out that he left the farm equally to “all of us children.” Then they started asking what he was going to do with the money they got from their share of the farm.
I am devastated and trying to survive through the pain. I hope my story can help someone else. Please share it.
– Submitted by email from DG
Solution
DG, I wish I could comfort you as you work through the emotions and consequences of your father’s choices. May you have a loving spouse and children, true friends, a caring religious leader, and a family doctor with mental health resources. This is not the time to walk alone and count what is “lost” or what is “left.” Eventually, you will have to deal with all of this, but for now, you need support and guidance to get through these days.
Yes, I will share your story too. You reminded us that “conversations are not contracts” and “if it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist.” The best intentions not backed by legal documents are just intentions, hopes, hopes, and expectations. When reality sets in, it can be devastating to people and businesses.
Here’s a lesson learned, because you want your experience to help others. If the assets of your estate affect the continuity of your business, you need transparency into the following: a legal, discussed and revised estate plan, a management, leadership, and ownership transfer plan, a buy-sell agreement or specific transfer document that takes precedence over a will, and a list of details for those left behind.
- Estate Planning It can ensure that assets pass to the people you choose and minimize income, gift and inheritance taxes. This may include structuring documents, a will, possibly a trust, and a durable power of attorney for health care and financial instructions. These documents should be shared and amended as necessary. Others don’t have to like your plan, but they have a right to know it. Your distributions will affect the continuity of your business.
- Management, leadership and ownership transfer plans. This ensures that the farm remains in the hands of people who know the business and have the authority to act on behalf of the owner.
- Sales contract Alternatively, certain ownership transfer documents take precedence over a will. These legal documents define the terms of the transfer, purchase, or gift. As long as an individual is of sound mind, a will can be changed at whim.
- A detailed list of those left behind. This can include details like your birth certificate, burial place, passwords, where you keep your documents, names of advisors and people you trust, and much more. With this list, your loved ones can celebrate your life without having to worry about it.
DG, your story reminds us of the need for transparency and good legal counsel. If you had known the terms of your father’s will 30 years ago, you would have invested your time and money differently.
For now, know that your story and suffering may help many others.
thank you.
