The mother of a 14-month-old baby wrote to Reddit wondering how other parents would handle the situation she and her husband found themselves in. she asked people. “r/parenting” subreddit How would they react if their partner offered to take a “break” from their childcare duties?
The mother was seeking advice as her husband asked for a “day off” from caring for the baby.
She described her daughter as “full of energy” and described a typical schedule for daughter and baby.Daughter and baby wake up at 7am, eat breakfast, go outside to play and read a book, then baby naps around 11am
But the day the mother posted on Reddit, the baby refused to take his usual nap. Further, she explained that her husband woke up at around 10:30 am that day, took a shower, had coffee, and then asked her to spend the rest of the day alone.
Photo: Tatiana Shirikova/Pexels
She reported that she felt conflicted about her husband’s demands, saying, “While I can understand, I also feel really ‘disappointing and sad.'” She also felt that “the rest of the day was all up to me.”
The mother said her husband had told her he had “today off” and wanted to rest from caring for the baby for the rest of the day.
The majority of comments from other parents suggested that his request for time off be respected if he can also take time off from baby duty in the near future. Many parents pointed out that in an ideal world, parenting responsibilities would be divided evenly. But the reality is that the labor of parenting is not always divided evenly.
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As one parent said: One of us is always going to do ‘more’ and the other is going to do ‘less’,” and because they are doing what they can, they “feel fair and before resentment shows up. We are able to communicate with each other and we are always doing what we can.” to support each other. ”
Another person said directly to the mother: Let’s give each other grace. Another person echoed that sentiment, stating, “It may sound counterintuitive, but you’ll both be much better parents if you take some time off.”
The original post’s mother came to the comments section to answer a question from a Reddit user. The question she asked was whether she was given the same opportunity to take a break. She replied that she offered to tell her husband if he wanted to rest. Still, she said, “I don’t think she can ‘take a vacation’ at home without feeling guilty or not wanting to date her daughter,” she reported. .
Her reaction seems to be the crux of the conflict there. She feels her mother cannot ask for a break in the same way her husband does. Motherhood’s guilt is a major dilemma that stems from a deeply ingrained social notion that being a mother is an all-encompassing role and that asking for help makes you an inferior parent.
Parental burnout is a very real part of parenting.
according to Article published by Healthline, Burnout is defined as “the result of prolonged stress in which the demands placed on an individual exceed their ability to meet expectations.” Healthline kindly admitted that if you’re a parent experiencing burnout, “You’re not a bad person. You’re not a bad person. You’re not a bad person.” Nor do you need to live like this. There are ways to deal with it. ”
They suggest that the first step in surviving burnout is to be open and honest with your partner about how you feel, which is exactly what the woman’s husband did.
Photo: Gustavo Fring/Pexels
As one person commented on her post, “He seems really self-aware and came to you vulnerable to the stressors of parenting. This is good news.”
Healthline also emphasizes being patient with yourself and sticking to the understanding that parenting is inherently stressful, no matter how much you love your child. It’s definitely worth scheduling breaks, even if it’s just 20 minutes a day or just taking a deep breath.
Needing time away from your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent. That means you are human too, with legitimate needs and vulnerabilities, and sometimes resting is the best thing you can give yourself.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis, and anything to do with the entertainment industry.