love is blind This is an unconventional way to find a partner, to say the least. For those who aren’t familiar with the premise of Netflix’s hit reality series, singles are unable to meet physically, so they rely entirely on their communication skills and intuition to choose a mate. Naturally, this has led some people to get creative with figuring out who’s right for them, but one contestant’s dating strategy in Season 7 (released October 2nd) doesn’t quite work. I didn’t go.
In episode 6, Nick Doka revealed that he stumbled upon a bulleted list of red flags written by his fiancée, Hannah Giles. As viewers, we can’t see what Giles wrote, but according to Dorka, the notes included questions such as, “Did we go too far into his emotions?”, “Has he grown up?” and “Confidence. It was said that the message read something like, “I’m cheeky.” “Why don’t you write it down and tell me?” he vented to friends on the show. “This is more than just a bullet point. This is 10.”
Of course, it doesn’t feel good to read a catalog that lists everything that is (or seems) wrong with you. (If you want to know what happens to the couple, Giles and Dorka end up having a talk…but I won’t spoil the rest). Still, the whole situation made us wonder: Was Giles’ list cruel, or was it actually some kind of genius?
given that love is blind Participants have very little time to connect, so it’s natural to want to connect. Really Dig deeper into your partner’s personality and gain even more insight. Dr. Molly BarrettsThe Los Angeles-based psychologist and adjunct professor at the University of Southern California’s School of Marriage and Family Therapy tells SELF.
“In the show, these people are making probably the biggest decision of their lives, which is choosing who to marry,” Dr. Barretts says. But since they can’t rely on physical attraction or common experience (they’re essentially strangers), tracking potential deal breakers can help determine who the contestants are compatible with. It may be easier to judge whether it is a good fit (or a bad fit).
And Dr. Barretts added that Giles’ strategy may also be useful for real-life dating. For example, taking note of problematic traits (literally) can give you a much-needed reality check during the fresh, exciting honeymoon phase. “At first, people tend to get so caught up in the thrill of romance that they ignore the red flags,” she explains. That’s why this list provides clarity when emotions may be clouding your judgment.
Also, being realistic about your partner’s limits “helps you make wise, informed decisions about big life commitments (like marriage, cohabitation, and starting a family),” says Dr. Barrettz. For example, your plans to spend the next five years traveling may not work out, because you are ready to settle in your hometown. Considering your non-negotiables and assessing whether the person agrees to those things will help you decide whether you should be together in front You uproot your entire life.
So while the red flag list (as mean as it sounds) isn’t necessarily horrifying and cruel, Dr. Barretts does have one big red flag. only It is really unfair and counterproductive to point out someone’s flaws without considering their good points. Whenever you make a big decision, “you want as much data as possible. That’s what pros do.” and Cons,” she explains. And ignoring the positives is more likely to create a one-sided (and inaccurate) view of who could actually be a great match.
