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Happy Thursday everyone. So is having a presidential debate really such a great thing? Yeah. It’s time to reconsider.
video: A useless rally in Simi Valley.
Yes, 23 hours have passed since the second Republican presidential debate, as you can see in the bottom right corner of your screen. No one has ever done that before. And like Vivek’s hairline, my migraines are finally receding. The debate was held at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and served as a reminder of a time when the outgoing president at 78 was considered too old, and that it is still legal to park a jet in the library. . sorry. Where can I find the Classic Literature section? It’s right behind 747. In case you missed it, let’s take a look at the highlights. Here’s the best part of it all.
Video of Dana Perino asking questions: As President, how would you protect American farmers and ranchers from that kind of retaliation from foreign governments like China? The root causes of crime, especially criminals who just come out and come back and commit crimes again. What do you think about dealing with this revolving door of committing crimes? What is your mathematical path? Governor DeSantisto defeat President Trump, who maintains a commanding lead in this election race.?
Missed the Republican debate? Watch the replay.Experts announce winners, losers and other top headlines
Yes, yes, that woman is very nice. She was the only presenter that I could understand without any difficulty. Someone should give her a job where she sits next to an incredibly handsome genius at 5 o’clock every day. And Jesse Waters too. Anyway, here’s a little-known fact I made up. Debate is actually a Latin word that means everyone speaking at the same time.
Video of candidates talking to each other
All those voices. It felt like I was inside Gerald’s brain. No offense to Dana’s fellow host Ilia Calderon, but damn, I’m not talking about her accent. She makes Salma Hayek sound like Queen Elizabeth. But as much as she has struggled, I have struggled along with her. But even if she hired me to moderate a Spanish debate, I wouldn’t do a very good job either. But at least I won’t be filling the airwaves with liberal platitudes. Or say “b******” in Spanish.
Ilia Calderon asks: You said you were a slave. honed skills despite slavery, it’s not because of that, but many people are still hurting. What is your message to them? Will you work with Congress to find a durable solution for Dreamers? What is your concrete plan to curb gun violence? Violence against LGBTQ+ people is increasing and escalating. Masu. How do we protect this community from violent attacks?
I mean, these questions insulted me because we regularly challenge these bogus talking points every day. Nevertheless, we are here pretending that they are agreed upon truths in this discussion. These questions, which strangely had no follow-up from her, could have been written by Keith Olbermann if he could still write, so it’s a shame that the candidate ignored them. She amplified her disparagement about DeSantis. She blamed Americans for fentanyl flooding the southern border. She asked Mike Pence what he would do to stop violence against LGBTQ+ people. Sorry, everyone. This is a Republican argument. If you want my intelligence insulted, I’m going to talk to Brian Kilmeade, but that’s Univision, not Fox News, so that’s a good call, well done RNC. Thankfully, Pence was good for some dad jokes.
Mike Pence: My wife is not a member of the teachers union, but I had to admit that I have been sleeping with teachers for 38 years. I served in Congress for 12 years, but it felt like much longer.
Yes, he made the Ronald Reagan Library sound like a real library. This guy has harder eyebrows than Nancy Pelosi. If you want horribly bad jokes, Seth Meyers is back on Monday. I don’t even know him. Why did he bring up this stranger, they asked? But DeSantis seems to have moved forward simply by not taking off his pants, but the bar is low. And thankfully, near the end, he was able to articulate something beyond a robotic smile and stiff arm movements. Because up until that point I was waiting for Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz to grease her elbows. Vivek, he was weird. He went from insulting piracy in the last debate to saying, “Hey, you guys are the best now.” And every time someone insulted him, his hair grew a little higher. In the end, LAX air traffic control kept telling him to hunker down, but he made good points about mental health, social media, transgender people, and children. And as the discussion faded away, he left his last words. I think Nikki Haley came across as shrill, but she nailed the TikTok even though she was at least promoting it during the debate. When TikTok suddenly pretends to be right-wing, you know you’re being fooled. But there was one candidate absent, as was Hunter Biden on her Father’s Day. Donald Trump.
Chris Christie video: Donald, I know you’re watching. You’re not here tonight because you’re scared to go on stage and defend your record. You are ignoring these things. And let me tell you what happens next. Keep doing that and no one here will ever call you Donald Trump again. I’ll call him Donald Duck.
It looks like a human bottle opener. It was the worst birth I’ve seen since Octomum gave birth. Of course, Trump wasn’t there. Because Trump was leading in every poll and every attack on him felt like a kid getting back at his dad. But I wish they had answered the question instead of making fun of the orange threat. So the clear winner of the debate was Dana Perino. Why isn’t she running for president? Not only will she be the first female president in history, she will be the first president to stand in a six-book phone book and take her oath of office. Hahahahahahaha. Think about the extra room they would have in the White House. You can also use Airbnb to pay off debt.
Second Republican debate: Here are the biggest winners and biggest losers
But it’s hard to pick a winner because no one shined. I felt like a school bus driver taking a group of noisy juvenile delinquents to community service. And you know what? It’s not their fault either. If the advent of podcasting has taught us anything, it’s that this structure of free discussion is deader than Joe Biden’s frontal lobe. It turns out that instead of people explaining why they should be president, everyone ends up being a “look at me” potshot artist. I felt sick looking at it, but maybe that was because of the 3 pound cake I ate. Who wouldn’t want to slit their wrists after an argument through the curtains?
Video of Tim Scott and Nikki Haley arguing through the curtains
A fight over the curtains. Does it matter who was right or wrong? And the hosts couldn’t stop the noise because the structure favored chaos rather than preventing it. From now on, the host should be given a Taser to calm things down. They try to use the potato gun on Christy, but the carbs only make him stronger. But perhaps it could have been the worst. Because when you compare the structure of a debate to a long-form interview where you learn a lot about a candidate, maybe it’s time to take this kind of spectacle out into the woods and film it. This is him in 2023. That debate felt like his 2015. We deserve better, like a series of small debates between two candidates. It’s worth a try. One thing is for sure: No matter what you think of the Republican candidates, including the absent candidates, none are worse than this man.
Video of Biden’s downfall
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Yeah. We need a president who can stand up for America. Or maybe just standing there.
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