Co-sleeping is a topic that has generated considerable debate among parents, pediatricians, and researchers. Proponents tout the benefits of co-sleeping, such as improved sleep quality for both parents and babies. But others caution against it due to concerns about the risk of SIDS and other safety issues.
In this post, I’ll review current safety guidelines, offer helpful tips for parents considering co-sleeping, and even share what I did when my own children were babies.
What is co-sleeping?
Co-sleeping is when parents share a sleeping space with their baby or toddler, usually for the first year of life, although many parents decide to share the same room for longer periods of time.
Some define co-sleeping as having the baby within arm’s reach, while others define it as parents and baby sleeping in the same room. When rooming-in, the baby may sleep in a bed or crib next to the parents’ bed or on opposite sides of the room. Rooming-in is fairly widely accepted, at least until the baby is six months old.
But bed sharing is more controversial. Bed sharing is exactly what it sounds like: sleeping in the same bed as your baby. It’s more common than you might think. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) conducted a survey of caregivers in 2015.
More than half of caregivers surveyed (61%) said they bed-share at least sometimes.
Benefits of co-sleeping
Co-sleeping with your baby has physical and emotional benefits for both you and your baby.
Strengthening bonds
Co-sleeping enhances the bond between parent and baby. Closeness between parents and children allows for more opportunities for interaction, such as feeding and comforting. Sleeping close to you at night also gives your baby a sense of security. This sense of security may lead to better emotional development and reduced separation anxiety.
Promotes breastfeeding
Co-sleeping makes nighttime feedings easier, and as the comfort of continuing to breastfeed every night increases, the mother may decide to continue breastfeeding for a longer period (6 months or more).
A 1997 study found that bed-sharing babies breastfed more frequently and for longer, feeding more frequently and for three times as long at night compared to babies who slept separately.
Reducing the risk of SIDS
One of the side benefits of breastfeeding is that it can reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). A German study found that formula-fed babies not only had an increased risk of SIDS, but that their risk was twice as high as breastfed babies.
Sleeping close to parents may also reduce the risk of SIDS. Close proximity helps regulate a baby’s breathing and body temperature. Healthy breathing patterns also reduce the risk of SIDS.
Benefits of occlusion development
More convenient feeding also has more far-reaching benefits: A 2022 study found that co-sleeping as a baby positively impacts bite development in toddler years.
Babies who co-slept as babies were less likely to use pacifiers or suck their thumbs, and as a result were less likely to have overbites, crossbites, or open bites. Co-sleeping also promoted better facial development.
Better sleep for parents
Nighttime caregiving tasks like feeding and soothing are easier and quicker when baby is nearby – and parents are more likely to get a more restful sleep as a result.
Is co-sleeping safe?
New parents may wonder if bed sharing is safe. Bed sharing is actually a biological norm and has been common throughout history. Western society just got rid of it for the sake of convenience. As long as parents follow certain conventions, bed sharing is safe.
One such habit is breastfeeding: Breastfed babies have a symbiotic relationship with their mothers and can safely share a bed, but formula-fed babies are safer sleeping on their side or in a cot next to their mother.
Dr. James McKenna, director of the Maternal-Infant Sleep Lab at the University of Notre Dame and a widely recognized expert on co-sleeping, explains that there are a few reasons why co-sleeping isn’t the same for breastfed and bottle-fed infants.
“Breastfeeding, for starters, changes where and how the baby is placed next to its mother. Also, the infant’s arousal patterns, how sensitive baby and mother are to each other’s movements, sounds and distance, and the infant and mother’s sleep architecture (how much time each spends in the various sleep stages, and how and when they move from one sleep stage to the next) are very different between bottle-feeding and breast-feeding mother-infant dyads.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) still recommends against bed sharing, even in its updated guidelines for 2022. It warns that bed sharing increases the risk of SIDS. However, SIDS is more of a concern when sharing a bed with a premature or low birth weight infant. Healthy full-term infants are not at high risk as long as parents follow safe sleep habits.
Dr. McKenna also reviewed studies that seem to link SIDS to co-sleeping. She said there are many inaccuracies and contradictions in the interpretation of research findings on co-sleeping and SIDS.
There will always be examples of people who don’t follow safe bed-sharing practices, but that doesn’t mean anyone should. It’s also important to note that suffocation from unsafe co-sleeping is not SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), even though the two are often lumped together.
Safe co-sleeping practices
Here are some safe bed-sharing practices, and remember that these apply to naptime as well as nighttime:
- Breastfed babies may be safest to sleep next to their mothers, not next to their fathers
- Babies under 1 year old should not sleep with older children
- Your baby should be placed on a firm sleeping surface, not on a waterbed or sofa.
- Make sure the headboard and footboard do not have any gaps that your baby could get trapped in at night. The mattress needs to fit snugly against the headboard to ensure a safe sleep for your infant.
- Sheepskin is not recommended, nor are weighted blankets, quilts or pillows, as these can increase the risk of overheating and suffocation. Use a lightweight baby blanket.
- A snug-fitting baby sleeping bag can help prevent suffocation by giving your baby a separate sleeping material.
- Remove any items that may be a strangulation hazard, including jewelry, pacifier clips, and teething necklaces.
- Some parents Bedside baby cotGive your baby his or her own space while keeping your sleeping baby close by.
The UK’s Lullaby Trust has also put together a guide to safe co-sleeping mattresses and bedding, which emphasises the use of firm, flat mattresses and the avoidance of soft or bulky bedding.
How can we teach self-reliance?
Some parents may worry that their child will never leave their bed, but many of the ideas for sleep training a baby still apply here. A good way to start is to gradually transition your baby into their own sleep space. Start by letting them sleep in their crib or bassinet for a few minutes. Then gradually increase the amount of time they sleep alone.
Respond to your baby’s needs during the transition. Comfort her when she becomes restless, but encourage her to return to her own sleep space. A favorite blanket or stuffed animal can help your baby self-soothe if she wakes during the night and get back to sleep.
Another concern is that co-sleeping as a baby might lead to less independence as the child gets older. Research Quite the opposite was true: Children who co-slept early were more independent and self-reliant as preschoolers than those who didn’t co-sleep as babies.
Co-sleeping or bed-sharing is a common practice around the world. These aren’t new concepts. You might be surprised to know that many world leaders throughout history shared a bed with their mothers as infants.
It’s not all or nothing
It’s important to remember that it’s not all or nothing. Once your baby is sleeping through the night, it may be time to gradually move him or her into their own room. Parents can use co-sleeping as part of baby-led sleep training.
There are times when having a baby sleep in an adult bed isn’t ideal – for example, if a parent has a respiratory illness or the flu, it may be best for the baby to sleep alone in a cot or bassinet. Separate sleeping arrangements are also recommended if one or both parents have had alcohol on the night.
Many parents simply aren’t comfortable with bed-sharing. And that’s totally okay. Parents who have trouble falling asleep, take certain medications, or have medical conditions might not want to have their baby sleep in their bed. Whatever the case may be, there’s no criticism here; room-sharing is still a great option.
What I do/have done
When my kids were babies, we shared a bed for the first few months. I was used to having my baby close to me in the womb, so it was natural for me to have him sleep right next to me in the bed. As he started to move around, I felt more comfortable letting him sleep on his own.
Of course, sleep arrangements will vary depending on your baby and your family, so choose what works best for you.
What are your thoughts on co-sleeping? Have you ever shared a bed or room with a small child? Share it below!
