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So one of the key differences between the left and the right is whether one side wants to leave you alone. Sure, all politicians want power, but clearly one kind is more invasive than the other. There, meet Public Enemy No. 1: Peanut the Squirrel. Evidently the most evil rodent since Adam Schiff. Or he was there until New York State decided he had to leave.
His crimes, unlike half of New York City, seem to involve living indoors. If he had pitched a tent and smoked meth, he would still be with us. But last week, New York State Department of Environmental Protection agents began a five-hour raid on the home of Peanut’s owner, Mark Longo, and took Peanut into custody.
Squirrel Peanut or Peanut has 532,000 followers on Instagram. (via peanut_the_squirrel12 Instagram)
5 hours! It probably took that long to put the little handcuffs on. However, thanks to 10 agents who were prepared for fierce resistance, Peanut was arrested with minimal injuries. They must have spent the whole five hours stroking his nuts. But for the brave New York environmentalists, this was their Bin Laden. Obviously, Peanut had to go. Because in New York, the only people who don’t want squirrels ingesting nuts are pediatricians. Well, Peanuts had a co-conspirator, Fred the raccoon.
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He’s clearly a criminal because he always wears a mask. Fred was also raided and executed like Peanut. There are no trials, no juries, no due process, nothing. It’s like being at the Capitol on January 6th. Maybe they were the ones who did something on Pelosi’s desk. Now, the state claims it had to euthanize two animals to be tested for rabies after Peanut bit one of its employees. Yes, the bite occurred during the attack. In other words, the state claims to have solved the problem it caused.
This photo shared on Instagram shows Peanut the squirrel eating peanuts. (via peanut_the_squirrel12 Instagram)
They raided homes, attacked frightened squirrels, and subdued them when they bit. The incident has been resolved. Now the city is safe from one adorable rodent. The owner and his wife think someone kicked them out. It turns out they had an OnlyFans page where they posted porn, which helped them rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars, which they used to buy a 350-acre property.
Now, as a resident of New York State, I cannot express in words how much I appreciate the state’s commitment to my safety. You know, with all this crime, homelessness, and immigration chaos, I was starting to think things were going in the wrong direction. But now, thank God, we are back to law and order. Let’s start with the squirrel. The joke about priorities is obvious, but the process itself is not. Big government, by its very nature, only sees itself getting bigger. And as it grows, so does its invasiveness. But because they want to control every aspect of people’s lives, they ignore the basics they were originally intended to cover, such as crime, sanitation, and homelessness. Instead, focus on silly things like pets, lemonade stands, and pronouns. And why? So what is the government made of? Bureaucracy.
A robot that builds a nest by doing exactly what it is told. Think about it. Did anyone at any point during this raid stop and say, “Hey, wait a minute, this is crap, this is stupid, this is crazy, this is weird”? Or was everything done automatically? As the old saying goes, just follow orders. As you know, we are concerned about the unconscious thinking of artificial intelligence. Once it starts, you can’t stop it. But the meter guys, civil servants, and state environmental officers are already there, and they’re even worse.
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They are simply following Democratic Party policies with the power of judge, jury, and executioner. The truth is, most people aren’t political until politics intervenes in their lives. You may have had no interest in the whole thing and then the government comes along and tells you that your child’s gender is fungible and your pet is expendable. It’s like a parent who, until COVID-19, showed no interest in anything other than homework and soccer practice. Then they attend a school board meeting and find out that the lunatics are in charge.
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Perhaps we should thank China for inventing a virus that acted as a sniffer of salt and woke up the public. Now, I’m not saying that Peanut’s death simply turned New York upside down, but you want to “red pill” America? Raid their homes and kill their pets.
