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My son, Asaf, a 17-year-old son in grade 11, was murdered in a terrorist attack. On March 5th, 2003, Hamas suicide bombing exploded on Bus #37 in his hometown of Haifa. Seventeen men, women and children were killed. One of the school children went home from another day at school.
I was born and raised in Israel and was shocked. I didn’t know why I could drive people to take their lives just to kill as many Jews as possible. I could not understand the hatred that promoted such an act. Determined to understand, I learned that the mother of a suicide bomber should have, according to Muslim custom, welcomed mourners in black clothes and offered bitter coffee. I was surprised that this mother could hate my child more than she loved herself.
That was when I realized I was facing a much deeper problem than we would admit. If hatred is taught at home, reinforced at school and celebrated at kindergarten – children will adorn suicide bombings and praise school performances for killing settlers. Then, as we have seen, another meaningless negotiation will not bring about change, as we have seen.
Terrorist attacks shake Israel. Three buses reportedly exploded
Asaf Zur was killed in a Hamas terrorist attack on March 5, 2003, when a suicide bomber bombed a bus in Haifa. ASAF was 17 years old. (Zur Family)
We are people seeking peace. We strive for great lengths to compromise and achieve peace, but only with those who share that desire. Terrorist extremists are not partners seeking peace, they are seeking our utter disappearance.
As a family, we wanted to continue our lives and find healing. A few years after the attack, we were lucky to have another boy. Usually, parents take their children into the world, giving them life, joy and happiness. In our case, the children given to us breathed life into us. He allowed us to focus on the positive aspects of life, even if we carried grief with them.
I participated in the activities of One Familyan organization that supports terrorist victims and their families. We had to go back to work and live our lives as if we were “normal” people. At work, you have to wear a “happy face.” Even when something is causing memories of your murdered son, you need to look normal, and all you want is to find a quiet place to cry. However, one family meeting, retreat and travel were surrounded by bereaved parents like us. You can share your thoughts and experiences without fear of judgment. We can become ourselves without worrying about how we will look to others. After the attack on October 7th, we met with new bereaved families from our city and introduced them to One Family and the support it offers.
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On Saturday, January 25th, 2025, after being released from Israeli prison after a ceasefire agreement with Israel, the bus carrying Palestinian security prisoners will be greeted by the crowd. (AP Photo/Nasser Nasser)
Sadly, the family members continue to grow. Even today, new families need enormous support to rebuild their lives, as hostages were resurrected on October 7th and later killed in Gaza.
Israel is paying high prices to revive the tempted citizens. Many convicted terrorists are released in exchange. Among them is Ali Hasan Al Raghbi, who has been sentenced to 18 life conditions for his role in the attack that killed his son Asaf. Three other terrorists involved in the same attack were announced as part of a contract to release Girad Sharit, a soldier lured in 2011.
I am totally opposed to the release of terrorists. It is unfair, immoral, and wrong. It weakens Israel as a nation and erodes our judicial system. Worse, it encourages more young people to become terrorists and knows that another deal is always coming. In the past, I have fought these releases. However, this time I chose not to oppose it. The number of hostages, their age, and the fear of what they endured demands extraordinary measures.
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Asaf was in 11th grade when Hamas terrorists took their lives in Haifa, Israel. (Zur Family)
Instead, I choose to fight for the future. Israel must adopt stricter policies against fear. There is no more containment, warnings or air threats. If we are safe, we must act differently than before.
My son Asaf was murdered. However, I have three sons and three grandchildren in Israel. At the open grave of the ASAF, I vowed to do everything in my power to keep them safe, and “never again” would apply to my family first and foremost.
