It’s funny because I’m getting this bittersweet relationship I’ve wanted all along.But she’s not the same mom I grew up with.But that she’s here and she loves me I am just grateful to know Deep down in her heart, she knows I’m here for her. I asked her, “Do you know that I love you?” She said, “Yes, because you are taking care of me.” That’s all I wanted to hear in my life.
Has your relationship changed fairly quickly since she was in this new vulnerable situation?
absolutely. A mentor at the time said, “You have to tell her about her past, even if you think she doesn’t understand.” We had a very good conversation and I said, ‘When I was little these things hurt me. It was a beautiful moment of much-needed forgiveness for us. I know she couldn’t take good care of her if she didn’t let it go.
These days, she really can’t communicate the way she wants. But deep down in her heart, I feel that she has forgiven me. We live in the moment and appreciate each other. She has never been so proud to be her daughter.
We would appreciate it if you could capture the fun moments you found together during nursing care on Instagram. Has your mom’s speech decline affected the kinds of things you want to do as a mother and daughter?
i still take her out We went to Mastro’s Steakhouse the other day for her birthday! We still have movie nights and go to nail salons. She gets massages from a company called Manly Hands. Her arms are so tight that she can stretch abruptly every time she comes. And she loved those men, honey! She tries things I know she would have done had she been 100% healthy.
Caregivers play many roles, including drivers, schedulers, shoppers, and of course, home care assistants. How did you prepare to take on all these responsibilities?
A good friend of mine, Reitrice, who is the director of nursing at a Memphis hospital, gave me two CPR trainings.She asked her friends who are nurses and doctors to teach her how to repaper construction paper. [a small folded sheet that can be easily removed from underneath someone or used to help lift them] And I explained, “This is how you change her and keep her clean,” so mom doesn’t have bedsores.
I went to the hospital and asked them to check their equipment and what type of mattress they used. Then my friend and I shopped in LA and found the equivalent.thank god P Valley I was barely eating, just in time for the GoFundMe to run out. I had enough for Mama to eat. Friends literally cooked and brought food for us.