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You may have heard the saying, “Any man can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a father.” And it’s true.
This weekend we celebrate our annual Father’s Day. If you are a father, whether your child is your own or an adopted child, congratulations. If you love your father, or have a father who loves you, you are lucky. If you wish you had a loving father, or a father who loves you, but you don’t have either, my heartfelt condolences. This is probably a pain that cannot be put into words. I’m sorry.
Keep it simple…
He lost his daughter to childhood cancer, but his love and legacy for her is stronger than ever.
So as not to be accused of false advertising, here are three little words that we can both remember on the day that we should be celebrating: You could call this my Father’s Day gift to our family: Are you ready?
Let’s say “I love you”
One of the most iconic scenes in film history is when Tevye asks Golde if she loves him after hearing the news that his daughter is getting married in “Fiddler on the Roof.” Having not spent much time talking about the subject, her first words in response to his “do you love me” question are “You’re a fool.”
His hilarious (and perhaps predictable) response was, “I know.”
Her natural wifely response then became a laundry list of the things she does for her husband: washing his clothes, cooking his meals, cleaning the house, giving birth to his children, and my favorite, milking the cows, etc.
Actor Haim Topol plays dairy farmer Tevye in the 1971 film “Fiddler on the Roof.” (RDB/Ulstein Built)
Tevye, clearly not happy, asked again, “So you love me?”
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Though she was hardly the perfect match for her bright-eyed, pleading husband, she finally admitted, “I think so.”
And of course, those three wonderful words “I love you” aren’t just something friends say to each other (or acknowledge), they’re also something fathers say to their children.
What I am about to tell you happened over 50 years ago, but I vividly remember the experience, the feelings, and the disappointment. Have you had a similar experience?
This Father’s Day, fill your family with love, starting with just three words: “I love you.” (iStock)
I never expressed my disappointment to my late wife, who had just given birth to a big baby — in fishing terms, a keeper. The baby was so big that the nurse chose her to demonstrate how to bathe a baby to a group of new moms. I wasn’t there, but I was proud to hear the story.
This would be our first child, and deep down I had hoped for a boy — a son who would help me with building projects, a son who could wrestle on the living room floor, a son who, by some miraculous fluke of genetic selection, would be the athlete I never was. But that didn’t happen. (I had bought a football to throw with my child before his due date, but it sat untouched on the top shelf of my closet for years.)
Fact: Father’s Day originated in the early 1900s, but it wasn’t until 1972 that it became an official holiday.
A few days after our daughter was born, we brought her home from the hospital, and there was no going back. No matter how hard I tried to get back to those good nights of sleep and quiet nights alone, they were gone forever.
As soon as Missy came home to live with us, I forgot about the boy silly stories. This little human had captured my heart. I couldn’t wait to come home from work every day just to see her.
Robert Wohlgemuth is the former president of Thomas Nelson Publishing House and founder of the literary agency Wohlgemuth & Associates, and the author of more than 20 books.
Late one afternoon, sitting in her favorite chair and gently holding her sleeping daughter, tightly swaddled in a cloth, I studied her tiny features: her tiny upturned nose, her perfect eyelashes, her rosebud-shaped mouth.
We discussed it.
“Do you know who you are, little girl?” I asked. “You’re Missy, and I’m your daddy. Do you know how happy I am to have you living with us? Do you know how much I love you?”
Occasionally her eyes would open and seem to come into focus.
As if it were yesterday, I remember the breathtaking feeling in my heart. “This little girl is my responsibility,” I whispered. “I am her father. The only father she will ever have. And I have the privilege of loving her.”
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Looking at her face again stirred something deep within me. The emotion was overwhelming, but it wasn’t one of frustration or fear. I was determined, resolute, and ready to face the obstacles that would surely be placed before me.
I remember thinking in that moment, “Little girl, I’m going to be your daddy. You can count on me. I can do it. I know you can.”
Then I prayed, because deep down I knew I had no idea what I was talking about.
God please help me.
If you love your father, or have a father who loves you, you are lucky. (iStock)
My lifelong mission of loving fatherhood began. And in answer to my prayers, the Lord graciously came to my side. He helped me. I was unworthy, but He gave me wisdom. Amazingly, today, this baby is a grandmother with two adoring grandchildren.
Incredibly, love lasts.
Happy.
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This Father’s Day, fill your family with love, starting with just three words: “I love you.”
Oh, and Happy Father’s Day.
To read more articles by Robert Wohlgemuth click here
