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It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child. You don’t know how true this is until you become a mother yourself.
When I became pregnant at 17, I faced a whirlwind of emotions and anxiety. Through it all, the unwavering pillars that stood strong by my side in my darkest moments provided me with the support and strength I needed to get through the tumultuous journey ahead. That’s my mother.
When I came to her the day I found out I was pregnant, she kept her personal feelings to herself. Instead of expressing her disappointment or fear towards me, she just told me that she would be by my side no matter what.
Overcoming the challenges of teenage pregnancy is definitely difficult. It was a time of overwhelming emotion and social judgment, where every decision felt like a monumental leap into the unknown. But in the midst of this uncertainty, as I prepared to become a mother, my mother stood by my side and provided me with a ray of hope and reassurance.
I got pregnant at 17 and dreamed of becoming a doctor.This is what I want to say to that scared girl today.
Looking back today, it’s clear that she didn’t need to support me as much as she used to.
When I came to see her at work recently, I asked her how she felt that day. she said to me:
“At first I was scared. I didn’t know how to get through this situation, but one thing was for sure: I will always love her and help her make solid decisions that she will never regret. That was the most important thing: no shame, no regrets, and staying positive.
At that moment, I remained superficially calm and focused on listening carefully. I didn’t want her to see the insecurities I had in her heart. She knew that it was most important to her that I come across as stoic and fearless. What kept me calm in that moment was knowing how much she needed me.
Nicole Safier, son Nick, and mother.
A phrase I learned in church as a child that has stayed with me even as an adult immediately came to mind. “God danced on the day you were born.” I felt that way about her from the moment she gave birth to my girlfriend, and I knew she would feel the same way about her own child no matter the circumstances. Ta. And I was going to be there for her and help her get through it all. ”
Her unwavering emotional support was the foundation of my resilience. She didn’t judge or criticize. Instead, she opened her arms and embraced me with her loving heart. Her belief in my abilities never wavered, even when my own mind was clouded. She became my best friend, my refuge, and my source of inspiration.
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But her support didn’t stop there. Although being a teenage mother had its own set of obstacles and her initial decision to continue with her pregnancy was overwhelming, she encouraged me to dream big and reach for her star. I continued to encourage her to reach out. Despite her odds, she instilled in me her belief that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. She knew she had to work harder for it. Being able to forge a new path by bypassing all the obstacles that stand in your way. Her encouragement fueled my determination and I embarked on a journey that defied my expectations.
Nicole Safier and her mother.
College and medical school seemed like faraway dreams for a teenage mother, but with the help of my mother and the rest of my family, I made that dream a reality. Through sleepless nights studying, juggling motherhood, school, work, and countless hurdles along the way, my mom was by my side, cheering me on every step of the way.
If my mother hadn’t been able to hide her anxiety during my early pregnancy 25 years ago, my path might have been different.
As I look back at the trajectory of my life, I can clearly see that without her love and support, I would not have become the woman I am today. If she hadn’t been able to hide her own insecurities during my first pregnancy 25 years ago, my path might have been different.
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Navigating other people’s complex situations while hiding your own emotions can feel like trying to juggle flaming swords in a room made of tissue paper. However, there is a sublime beauty in simply being the pillar that supports you without the heavy cloak of judgment. It’s not about fixing or analyzing. It’s about holding space and reaching out in the midst of emotional turmoil. In a world that often cries out for solutions and explanations, the best we can do is simply be there, without the need for a map, like a steady lighthouse guiding someone through a choppy ocean. Sometimes it’s just being there.
My mother was exactly like that to me. Like a silent guardian in the night, this support brand is the unsung hero of relationships, offering unconditional comfort.
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