GREG GUTFELD: Woke lectures are ‘masquerading’ as ads

So with thousands of jobs gone, why are companies reprimanding? We now know that the average American beer lover doesn’t look like this. After all, I prefer my beer nuts in a bowl.

Since Anheuser-Busch hired Dylan Mulvaney to promote Bud Light, sales are now down about 25% and the company is even talking about redesigning the label now. Here is the new label. Actually this is my suggestion. To be honest, she looks like she’s laughing a barrel or two at least.

And now it looks like another company is ruining its own core audience. This year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue has 81-year-old Martha Stewart on the cover, and let me tell you, that’s not a bad thing for an 81-year-old.

Tyrus: no.

And she is actually a woman. As you know, Martha has wrinkles, but not on her scrotum. In my opinion, it’s an underrated word. Meanwhile, transgender pop star Kim Petras is on another SI cover, but I know what you’re thinking, who?

Exactly, name recognition and recognition doesn’t matter at all, as long as you keep the boxes ticked. This is as long as you tick the box, or rather the package. See, it’s not for you, it’s for them. Marketing teams are working with corporate doers and activists to earn points. If you’re worried that your product won’t sell, you’re transphobic, or at least trans fat.

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Gone are the days of classic SI, piled up in barbershops, each issue coveted like a charmin’ roll in a chili pepper factory, and a swimsuit issue circulated like a needle in the subway every year. everyone wanted it. But it’s clear that past customers, uncles, dads, and grandpas, were really terrible people.

They are terrible, sexist pigs. Let’s face it, we’re so good people now that it’s time to make them pay for working hard, fighting wars, and just being decent people.

We think crickets are better than steaks, and criminals are simply victims of oppression. And of course, men make better women. These new marketers are much better than the marketers of the past. Because, as Miller Wright points out, it’s putting women in bikinis.

Mirror light: It was women who brewed beer for the first time… Centuries later, how did the beer industry pay homage to the mothers of beer’s originators? They made us wear bikinis. . Wow, look —- —-. wild. The time has come for beer to permeate women. So now Miller Lite is on a mission to wipe out not only their own —-, but the beer industry as a whole —-.

oh. The company now argues women in bikinis shouldn’t be forced to mud wrestle to sell beer. Okay, I agree. Let’s go with Alfredo sauce. But they weren’t forced to do anything, they were paid, and if they didn’t like it, they didn’t have to. That’s what I tell my interns on Backshave Sunday.

Miller Wright’s ad premiered weeks before Mulvaney’s Bud Wright video was released, and they saw how it unfolded, making them look like they were former colleagues of Clinton’s. tried to fill their ads in They acted like drug addicts and dumped it in their stash as the police were on the doorstep. Except the cops were actually their customers.

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Photo of a commemorative Bud Light can featuring TikTok influencer Dylan Mulvaney. (Dylan Mulvaney/Instagram)

So how did this happen? Now, all these nauseating lectures are masquerading as advertisements, but colleges are churning out so many useless female graduates that they demand tampons in the men’s rooms. Are you going to a company that requires jock straps in the ladies’ room? Hmm. They see buyers as worms: stupid, disgusting, easily manipulated, and to be punished rather than praised.

Like when a Gillette ad a few years ago offered a satire of masculinity and suggested that bad behavior was the norm among men. They switched their slogan from “the best a man can get” to “use this to cut your wrists, male oppressors.”

So why do companies keep alienating their customer bases? Executives are easily manipulated by awakened rats into doing the exact opposite of success.

They accept short-term virtue signals over long-term rewards. If you haven’t actually spoken to the people who buy your product, you may assume that your friends and professional colleagues are in the real world. They can tell themselves they are making a difference if only stupid customers can repent.

By the way, did you notice that Miller Light didn’t mention the most popular ads involving famous jocks and athletes like Dick Butkus and John Madden? knows—surprise—. None of them was the skinny, chinless Seth Meyers. And you know that the ad agencies that made Miller’s anti-sexy creed only hire beautiful women for their female-targeted ads.

There is not a single shampoo or cosmetic product that is widely sold at home, and that’s no surprise. It’s like buying hair products from a bald person. The bottom line: scolding people for being people is the worst way to sell a product, but they’re very surprised when it actually backfires. sorry. You can imagine where this is going.

Sports Illustrated hits back after naming transgender female pop star Kim Petras as swimsuit cover model

boss: Now, folks, let’s take a look at the marketing strategy for the new women’s products. No one knows how to market to women like men do. So Steve, what’s the latest on that sports bra?

Steve: I don’t know if this would look good on me at the gym.

boss: Hmm, that’s a great point. Johnson, what’s your manicure these days?

Johnson: Well, this color is very summery and I’m more of a winter palette.

boss: Hmm, that’s a great point. Do you have the latest information on women’s products?

Emily Compagno: sir, i was thinking

boss: Oh, no, no, no. No no no no no. thank you. thank you. Who else? yes.

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Staff: This maternity wear doesn’t suit my body type as much as I thought it would. don’t know. What do you think?

boss: I think that’s all for today.