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Now, if you’ve heard this story before, stop reading here. The Department of Justice and the FBI have just announced a new investigation into Russian influence in the US presidential election. The Department of Justice has charged two Russian employees of the Russian state-run media outlet RT with funding a $10 million scheme to promote right-wing views and help elect Donald Trump.
The Department of Justice seized 32 internet domains that allegedly imitated legitimate US news outlets, all to spread disinformation. And what was the disinformation? It was about “food and commodity prices rising,” DEI potentially having a negative impact, and illegal immigrants committing crime. Hold on. I feel like I’ve heard these stories before. They sound like what we’re talking about. How convenient is this for our weaponized justice system? Every single problem we cover can be blamed on Russian disinformation. At least, we’re not talking about the soothing properties of Relaxium.
So Russia paid $10 million for something they could have gotten from me for free. Well, I would have only charged $7. $10 million is actually a pay cut, I’m kidding, but trust me, $10 million is not a lot on TV. FOX spends that amount on hair and makeup every week. It was $20, but then Gerald left. They actually hired an immigrant staff member just to trim his mustache. But sorry guys, it’s a shame. It’s not Russia destroying trust in the government, it’s the government saying Trump can’t be president because Moscow prefers Trump to Kamala. I know Russia doesn’t want Kamala. Even people who followed Karl Marx think Kamala is too Marxist. It’s like The View saying a Big Mac has too many calories.
Republicans ‘skeptical’ of Justice Department efforts to stop Russian election interference
Look, I don’t want a foreign country to interfere in my election, but my dog’s Instagram has more clout. The fake social media account that supposedly spread the Russian lie only had 7 followers. It was called CNN California. Yes, but only 7 followers. Seems pretty accurate. Meanwhile, notice what bad meddling people are not being prosecuted: Iran, who hacked the Trump campaign, funded protesters who took over American universities, and supported Hamas, who murdered American citizens. I mean, why target Russia and not Iran?
Iran tried to kill Donald Trump. Well, some of the questions will answer themselves. Meanwhile, Chinese assets are manipulating Democratic senators. They’re screwing Democratic congressmen like Eric Swalwell. He stinks, and they’re on the staff of the Governor of New York. The problem with Chinese influence is that an hour from now, the Democrats will want more.
Yes, they will. The hard part for China is finding a spy willing to hold in Swalwell’s farts or see Hawkeye’s face. So, what’s different about this than the US doing it on its own, whatever it is? We’re doing more damage to our people. Seriously, did Russia cover up Joe’s dementia for 4 years? Did Russia stage a silent coup after Joe’s illness was exposed?
Conservative figures with corporate ties to Russia’s election interference are speaking out, claiming they are victims
Did Russia push for the elimination of mail-in voting and voter ID requirements, completely destroying exit polls that measure fair elections? Did Russia push voting machines over paper ballots? Did Russia force RFK Jr. to remain on the ballot against his will in hopes of damaging Trump? Did Russia spread a hoax that portrayed Trump as Hitler and put a target on his back? Did Russia elevate the only Democrat on Earth who thinks fondly of Joe Biden? And did Russia weaponize our justice system in a perversion called legal warfare, while the American media cheered, in its worst interference?
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Dammit. Foreign interference is always better than this domestic shit. Maybe that’s why the Democrats are sweating about cheating too. They hate competition.
