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Happy Monday everyone from beautiful New York. It’s that time of year when leaves start falling on homeless people. And along with the smells of skunk, weed, and rotten drug addicts, the sidewalks have been supplemented with seasonal pumpkin spice urine. Autumn is coming. In a few weeks, electric car fires will be keeping people warm. But a new election on the horizon must mean hunting season.
That’s pretty good, Gene. But just so you know, we’re not talking about deer hunting at Dollar General or expired health and beauty products. No, it’s the season for political dissidents. You know, the awful people whose views make the so-called tolerant media elites squeal just like you said you were sending your kids to trade school. There was a gentle laugh from the audience. It is now illiberal in the eyes of the public. The season opened with direct attacks on two women in the Republican Party, Lauren Boebert and Kristi Noem. what’s that? I’m glad you asked.
video: Gilfs!Grandmas, I want to be friends
What did you think that stood for? You guys are dirtier than Hunter Biden’s sheets. oh yeah. Horrible. Well, these two have got to be the hottest grannies since minx Estelle Getty. No, was she wild? I’ll never forget that weekend in Reno. Bingo, slot machines and sex. sorry. But consider the contrast between your Republican grandma and your liberal grandma. On the right are Noem and Boebert, who are hotter as balls and more fun than Joy Behar in blackface juggling donuts on a unicycle. However, the grandma on the left tends to look more like this.
I don’t know about you, but I hate it when grandmas pee standing up. Anyway, last week in Denver, Boebert, the gilf number one sitting U.S. congressman, showed off her sitting skills by sitting in the audience of a Beetlejuice performance. No, it wasn’t a story about Lori Lightfoot’s life and times. But like Beetlejuice, when he says Boebert’s name three times, cleavage is called out. Apparently she smoked and talked too much throughout her performance. She has too many management preferences. She wait, shouldn’t she be allowed to vape or talk in theaters? Hmm. Tell that to the audience in a Tyler Perry movie.
Lauren Boebert says she won’t support Kevin McCarthy as House speaker
A racist would say!
Boebert and her date also got into some physical contact and were asked to leave. And suddenly there was a new Zapruder movie, especially when he moved his hands back and to the left. We knew they couldn’t get that producer. They said they weren’t going to take it. The last time I heard of these people was. Anyway, the media is acting like this is the worst thing to happen in theater since Lincoln’s assassination. Because she taught me that you don’t have to go to the store to buy something amazing. Now, Boebert looks like a lot of fun to me. Even if she should have stuck to musicals like Beauty in the Breast, The Loin King, or Fiddler on My Boobs. But “The View” alumnus Meghan McCain tweeted that Boebert was “trash” and all the liberals said she could have been scarred for life if her children were around. I added that there is. After all, no one goes to musical theater expecting to meet a man who is attracted to women. Yes, but that possibility applies no matter where you connect, right? We’re not all like Hunter, who makes daddy pay for the room at Chateau Marmont.
Boebert later apologized. So South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem was next on the hit list. Apparently, the idea that Noem and Corey Lewandowski, former President Trump or something, are dating is an issue of international importance. After all, South Dakota is a state known for drilling. Now, even I admit that this is a great story. that’s right. Because, if true, how Corey Lewandowski coped with this problem, an MIT research team will investigate on behalf of all the men who look like just a cat with a crew cut. Because it is necessary. That’s true. No offense intended, but it’s strange considering President Obama’s letter admitting to having fantasies about men was largely ignored by the press. Or what about how the liberal media treats Hunter?
Hunter Biden seeks to avoid direct arraignment on federal firearms charges
This is the cliff notes version. Chasing hunters is wrong. His dad loves him very much and he’s recovering, right? And he only hired those prostitutes to give Joe’s Corvette a wax job. But these people are perverts. If they were on Epstein’s client list, we would know about it. It’s rich coming from a political party that wants your son to be prom queen and your daughter to be king. sorry. I have to admit, Boebert looks much better in a party dress than this guy.
point? People on the right who have good communication skills and who might have some influence suddenly became targets. Joe Rogan, Russian agent. Tulsi Gabbard, Tucker Carlson. Hell, even RFK Jr. just for being a moderate. And the biggest prey of all is the great orange buffalo. Trump himself. The left tried to use a veteran prosecutor to bring in a big game hunter and bag him. I have doubts about the prison sentence. I’m sure he doesn’t think anything of it.
Donald Trump: I don’t even think about it. I think my physique is a little different. I think it’s because people would come up to me and say, “Sir, how do you do it?” How do you do it? ‘I don’t even think about it.
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Don’t think about it. What a strategy! As it turns out, the inability to think has worked wonders for Democrats. Now, if you’ve been watching the show for a long time, you may have noticed that people who are chased by the media have something in common. Boebert, Noem, Trump, they were all guests of Gutfeld. So I’m wondering, is that why some people don’t come to the show? Heck, even Carrot Top keeps turning us down. Carrot top. The same goes for Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Eastwood. actually! Even a tough guy like John Wayne wouldn’t be on our show. The least he can do is call us back. But in all this it is worth asking one thing. Will this targeting strategy actually work? Well, who knows? But if my reputation goes any higher, I’m sure people will say I killed Mother Teresa.
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