Anonymous: If she continues to openly insult you but you’re still just talking, consider that you’re underreacting. Say your wife’s actions are innocent (doubtful, but just for argument’s sake). If your marriage is her priority, she’ll apologize for upsetting you and patiently explain how 1,000 text messages to her ex can get you acquitted. .
Even if she believes you’re unfair, paranoid, controlling, or anything else, again just for discussion, and believes it’s her right to choose her friends. None of those concerns, if any, outweigh the need to be sympathetic and sympathetic to them. She is transparent with her spouse. In other words, people who care about you care about the impact they have on you. What your wife is most worried about is putting the blame for her actions on you. This looks worse than her 1,000 texts.
Dear Carolyn: An old friend came back to town and was immediately welcomed by a group of women who weren’t “members of me”. Hurt at first, but then decides that her friendship with “Sue” is independent and does not require anyone’s approval.
Later, Sue made the mistake of writing in her annual family newsletter that she spent her 50th birthday at a spa “with dear friends.” It was a party I wasn’t invited to. I questioned her to her stunned and she got her reply “I didn’t mean to hurt you” and then crossed her off the list.
Now she’s making an offer and I’m confused. I feel all of the following:
1. Sprinkled with anger and bitter vengeance.
2. I’m not very interested in her friendships anymore.
3. I’m a little embarrassed about my “junior high school” feeling.
mother: By your account, the incident at the spa itself didn’t change the basics of your friendship. You’re not part of a faction yet, but she is. Sue herself probably hasn’t changed, and you haven’t mentioned a drastic change in her personality or circumstances. Plus, you gave her the chance to drop you in favor of her spa friends, which she won’t take.
Here’s why her spa trip might end your friendship.
1. You personally had no problem being excluded from the faction, but you feel exposed and embarrassed by her public announcement.
2. You don’t believe in hyperbole, so you’re taking her literally as “her ‘valued’ friend.” It means that you are not as important to her as you thought.
3. I no longer want to be friends with people who talk about spa trips in our annual family newsletter.
If any or all of these seem like reasons to end a friendship, it’s probably over. it happens. But if none of these seem as important to you as her friendship, you’ll probably regret sorting out her phone.
