But how do I deal with all the different emotions I’m having? He’s dealt with some mental health issues in the past, so of course I was worried it would come back. , and I am generally very prone to anxiety. His father and I are divorced and his son has no relationship with his father (due to abuse) and is an only child.
Again, I love him and believe he should enjoy his life. And I don’t want him to stay near me out of guilt. We want to continue to support you, but you need to know how to deal with the emotional roller coaster.
Potential empty nesters: There’s actually a very simple framework. It’s about dealing with a roller coaster of emotions in your own time and space. It is forbidden to take my son there.
That leaves you with all sorts of options. Counseling for anxiety, if nothing else, self-care, cultivating new or existing interests, pleasurable pastimes, spending more time with friends, practicing meditation/yoga/walking, volunteering, etc. Cultivate your own impulses. This is an activity for. Something to occupy them. or a combination of these.
There are as many answers as there are people trying to deal with it. But what healthy people have in common is that they don’t hold their sons responsible for their health.
Plus: Your “nest” is no longer one when your son becomes an adult, so your roles will be different for a while, even if he still lives with you. Ta. If you look back at how you have stepped back and adjusted, you will see that this is not a sudden change, but a point on a continuum. For both of you.
Change is hard, so be patient with yourself too. It’s okay if you miss him.
· Also, plan a weekend visit in six months to reassure him that he’s okay and see where he likes to go for pizza. You may also want to ask how often they would like to call you so you don’t get discouraged.
· You are showing great self-awareness in not letting your own (very understandable) complex emotions become your son’s management responsibility. A note of gratitude from an adult son whose mother struggles with anxiety and boundaries.
Dear Carolyn: So after months of talking to myself, I found a therapist. I almost felt dizzy.
But I’m really nervous right now. My biggest problem is self-pity and I worry that my therapist will decide I need to get over myself. Or you need to be cooperative and completely trouble-free, which is more likely to stall the process before it even begins. Stupidly close to cancellation. You need to find a way to keep him muzzled long enough for your first appointment.
— So brave … blah, blah, blah.
So brave…blah blah blah: Don’t muzzle. When these come to mind, write them down. Call your list “Things you want to address in therapy.” Ask questions and get into it instead of trying to get out of it.
yes. Very brave, really.
· You set the agenda. You question what your therapist says. Your job is to show up. A good therapist will help you figure out the rest in a non-judgmental, collaborative way. If you don’t feel safe or don’t click, tell your therapist first. If you want to continue, keep looking.
