A perfectionist is not a balanced person, but that’s okay.
As a psychotherapist, I have worked with many self-proclaimed perfectionists. They were all bright, ambitious, hardworking people who inexplicably sensed that something was wrong.
But as I dug into their stories and research on perfectionism, I discovered something surprising. Perfectionism is not a pathology, treating perfectionism like a disease is causing countless people (mostly women) to suffer needlessly.
What type of perfectionist are you?
Based on my clinical research, I have identified 5 types of perfectionists. As you read profiles, keep in mind that perfectionism is a fluid, context-dependent structure.
For example, you may be a nasty perfectionist when it comes to dating and very much a perfectionist at work. Understanding your profile can help you understand and manage your unique tendencies increase.
1. Extreme Perfectionist
Intense perfectionists are effortlessly direct and maintain a very sharp focus when it comes to achieving their goals. Left alone, their standards can go from high to impossible, and they can punish others and themselves for not meeting them.
2. Classic Perfectionist
Classic perfectionists are reliable, consistent, detail-oriented, and stable in their environment. If left alone, they may struggle to adapt to spontaneity and changes in their routine, and may struggle to form meaningful relationships.
3. Perfectionist in Paris
Parisian perfectionists have a vivid understanding of the power of interpersonal relationships and a strong capacity for empathy. Left alone, their desire to connect with others can transfer to toxic people-pleasing.
4. The procrastinator perfectionist
Procrastinator perfectionists are better prepared, see opportunities from a 360-degree perspective, and are better at controlling their impulses. Left alone, their preparedness reaches a point of diminishing returns, leading to indecision and inaction.
5. Awful Perfectionist
Messy perfectionists effortlessly overcome the anxiety of new beginnings, are superstar idea generators, are well adapted to spontaneity, and are naturally enthusiastic. Left alone, they struggle to stay focused on their goals and eventually spread their energies too thinly to meet their commitments.
What is your perfectionist profile?
Not sure which profile is best for you? take the quiz here.
When people say, “I’m a perfectionist,” they’re not saying they expect perfection in themselves, others, the weather, or even everything that happens in their lives. It is important to understand that
Perfectionists are strong, intelligent people who realize that not everything goes perfectly all the time. What they sometimes have trouble with is understanding why they feel like they have to work endlessly, or why they can’t relax and enjoy themselves “like normal people”.
Perfectionism is a power, and like any other power it can be harnessed constructively. If you identify yourself with the perfectionist profile above, consider exploring perfectionism. You might be surprised how much power you have.
During that exploration, also consider these ideas: you have no problem.
Catherine Morgan Schaeffler Psychotherapist, author, speaker. Previously, she was an onsite therapist at Google. She received degrees and training from the University of California, Berkeley and Columbia University, and graduate certification from the Spirituality and Psychotherapy Association of New York City. her first book “The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control” It’s out now.
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