Sure, she needs his money (and we don’t), but I can’t get over the hurt of being fired. Two years later, it still bothers me. Any advice?
sad: The word “disinherited” has a special meaning. Because your husband was supposed to inherit part of her estate, but because of some peculiar action on her husband’s part, or because of a worsening relationship with her father, he did not. Because it sounds like a denial. .
If your father-in-law used this particular word to describe his behavior, it probably applies. But from your description it sounds like the old man has a plan and has spent all these years spending money in different ways and decided to put his money into the kid who earned it. .
This girl receives room and board, but also provides care of considerable monetary value. (In many cases, parents and siblings actually compensate their adult children for providing full-time care for the older parent.) If a daughter inherits any money, it will be her own. You can help support your old age and avoid worrying about your husband (the costs you may incur to undertake this).
Importantly, this is your husband’s problem, not yours. not done). You haven’t stated how your husband feels about the matter, but if he’s reconciled with the decision, so should you.
Dear Amy: I have many wedding photos from my son’s first marriage. I’m trying to organize all these photos so that I can give them to my grandchildren after my (hopefully distant) death. My problem is that many of these photos contain images of his ex-wife.
I’m pretty sure I should replace the framed portraits I have around the house with pictures I’ve taken with my new spouse. But what about all the other photos? She is the mother of my granddaughter and I don’t want to let anyone go. (We are a little distant, but we have a cordial relationship.)
I want to be fair with her and respect his current wife’s feelings and role. I would like to think about the feelings of her son and grandchildren. So what should we do with the photos?
Should I check with my son first to see what he wants from me? , I’m wondering if they want us to decide for ourselves whether to thin out or keep. Or should I be a revisionist and delete all photos of my ex?
You decide, because I…
Uncertainty: Yes, have a framed photo of your son and current wife in your home. No, do not delete anything or make multiple copies of all these photos. And yes, leave photos of your son’s first wedding for heirs to experience after your (preferably distant) death.
These old photos will have a different resonance in the future. Perhaps you need to imagine your grandchildren enjoying the process of looking at photos together and deciding what to keep, copy, share, and sift through.
Dear Reader: Has your question been posted in the “Ask Amy” column? Did you follow my advice or refuse to respond to me?
I would love to know, along with my readers, what happened to all of you. The “What’s New” from our readers that we published earlier was very well received. I look forward to sharing more of these “what happened next” stories in future columns.
If you have a story you’d like to share, please reach out to askamy@amydickinson.com. Please write “update” in the subject line and we will get back to you.
© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.