Appropriate one-on-one meetings between managers and their direct reports address the practical and personal needs of employees and improve employee performance, growth and well-being as well as team and organizational It also benefits the overall success. However, since it is usually the manager who hosts such meetings, employee needs are often forgotten. It is then up to the employee to ask questions to get the attention they need. Our research presents 28 questions to facilitate the best conversations.
When starting her new role, Briana was told that she would have regular one-on-one meetings (one-on-one) with her manager, Jaden. She welcomed the news. She saw this as a great opportunity to work with, support and mentor her new boss. However, her hopes were soon dashed. In her first meeting, Jaden focused solely on updating the project and then assigned her some additional tasks. This pattern continued for several weeks, with Briana routinely leaving her meetings feeling her own growth was micromanaged and unsupported.
Unfortunately, this story is a combination of many things we heard from employees in 1:1 surveys with managers and direct reports. As one of us (Steve) explains in his new book, Nice to Meet You: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings, Good one-on-one meetings address both the practical and personal needs of employees (Practical Needs: Information, Direction, Coordination; Personal Needs: Consideration, Respect, Trust, need to be treated with support). As such, these meetings are an important source of employee growth and support, driving the prosperity and success of teams and the organization as a whole.
However, these benefits are only realized in meetings with frequent conversations that address employee needs. Also, 1:1s are typically driven by managers, so they often address what the manager has in mind rather than the employee. This is especially true. Because it’s so rare for managers to receive training on how to successfully run these meetings, they often simply reuse dysfunctional practices they’ve experienced themselves. It’s from
If you’re in Brianna’s shoes, and you feel your boss’s one-on-one approach doesn’t support you or listen to you, empower yourself to direct the conversation toward your own needs. You should feel that you are being given. You can do this by asking smart questions.
Question matters
Seven broad categories to help you get the most value out of check-ins with your boss, based on published research and data collected from nearly 200 employees on key topics to discuss one-on-one We identified 28 critical questions categorized as: . You can use them according to your needs, adjust them, and incorporate them into your voice.
Ask for Guidance and Opinion
You can use these questions to get help from your manager for a difficult task or project, or to voice your need for additional resources, input, or support.
- I have some challenges and struggles with X. Can you help me figure out how to better navigate and deal with X?
- Can you suggest any ideas or thoughts on how to get more support (people, time, money) to help Y?
- What do you think of my Idea Z? Do you have any suggestions on how to improve it? Or if there are alternatives we should consider?
Clarify your priorities and expectations
Make sure you and your manager are on the same page to ensure things stay on track and work efficiently. Ask them to explain which tasks they need the most attention from their perspective.
- Given what’s in front of you, what should you prioritize now? Can you help me understand why?
- When you check my workload, am I working on the right projects and tasks?
- From your perspective, am I on track to meet my goals and your expectations? Need to refocus?
- Is there any context I’m missing about the project I’m working on? For example, why would I want to do project X?
Tailored to your organization and its strategy
Ask questions to understand how your role relates to the organization’s broader strategic goals and how the organization’s leaders are thinking about the future.
- What’s going on higher up in the tree (or in other parts of your organization)? Is it helpful to know as you tackle your major tasks?
- To better understand the big picture, how does the work I do and the mandate you have given me fit into your broader goals and strategies?
- Given the potential impact on my role, is there anything management is currently working on or considering that I should be aware of at this time?
- What new things do you think I should be aware of in our strategic priorities as a company?
Seeking growth opportunities and career advancement
Come into the meeting thinking about your short-term and long-term goals at work (even if they aren’t good enough), and ask your boss what steps you should take to get there.
- I would like to value your advice. How can you prepare for bigger opportunities or pursue X’s interests?
- As you consider the future direction of your organization, do you have any thoughts on how it should be improved and developed to best align?
- What strengths do you think I have and how do you think it will help you in the future?
- From your perspective, what should I aim for next in my career and why would you recommend the position?
- How can I make sure my skill set is optimized to support my team and organization?
- How can I reach my full potential?
Get performance feedback
Contact your manager to see how you’re doing in terms of performance. Not every meeting should be a formal performance review, but it’s important to check in regularly and reconcile if the manager is doing the review himself.
- Am I meeting your expectations? I would love to learn your perspective on my job performance.
- What kind of feedback can I get on the progress of X or Y tasks?
- Do you think I’m missing something about A or B?
- Looking back at my work, what should I start doing, what should I stop doing, what should I continue doing?
build a relationship
1:1s are an important place to build and nurture relationships with managers. Allocate time for personal contact with your manager at the beginning or end of the meeting.
- What’s up??
- How is it overall? how are you?
- What excites you outside of work?
- Do you want to know anything about me? (If necessary, be prepared to say, “I’m reluctant to share that, but there’s more you should know about me.”)
provide support
Consider how you can help managers achieve their goals and fulfill their roles. Managers need help, reassurance and support to optimize efficiency and performance. Consider how you can reach out to them in the same way you would expect your manager to support you. This also increases your chances of getting what you need one-on-one.
- What are my priorities for the next X days? What can I do about this?
- Where can I provide support?
- I wake up in the middle of the night, is there anything I can do to help?
How to use questions
Choose one or two categories to focus on for each 1:1 meeting. You can’t address everything in every meeting, so you’ll have to rotate or select what’s most relevant at the moment. Likewise, choose carefully among your questions. You don’t have to ask them all at once. Take your time and sample from all categories.
Don’t hesitate to follow up with the manager’s response to your question. A good follow-up is often a simple “why?” Gather strategic insights into the rationale, motivations, assumptions and big picture behind your day-to-day work.
Good one-on-one meetings with your manager are important not only to your own success, but to the success of your team and organization. Asking the right questions to make sure you get what you need in a meeting helps you stay committed to your job, develop a better understanding of your role and position within the organization, and improve your relationship with your boss. It can have a significant impact on your work experience, including improving your Also mention enhancing your well-being.
