14.
“My (now ex-) husband confessed to me that he was in love with another woman just a year into our marriage. I knew right away who it was: his co-worker who was also my “friend”. I thought I could get things back on track and immediately signed him up for couples therapy. We had one session together and one separately, but after that he told me he was done with his marriage and with me. I then found out that he had been in love with this woman for the entire time we were together (6 years!). They worked together and “pityed” each other about how terrible their partners were. Of course, neither of us considered that maybe they had a problem or that the problems we were experiencing were common problems for most couples (communication problems, sex life, extended family, etc.). He ended the relationship, I was depressed, and I convinced him to come back for a month, but he asked for no contact for 60 days.
“I texted him on the 30th day, but by the 40th day I realized I didn’t miss him and I felt so much better without him. He finally replied and I waited a bit and told him I was done with him and all I wanted was an apology for cheating. I’m still waiting for that response, by the way. I forgive him. Really. Something was wrong deep inside of him and he felt the need to cheat and lie even though I was his wife and I made it very clear that he could tell me anything and that we could work anything out if we worked together.”
Through a lot of therapy, I realized that it was actually through no fault of my own and that this marriage wasn’t worth fighting for. I almost feel sorry for him. He will have to carry that burden for the rest of his life and no matter how he treats future partners, he will remain a liar and a cheater. … I am happier leaving him and exploring love in different ways, through new people and new experiences… I am open to love, I know what I want and I know that one day I will find the right person to settle down with. It was hard to walk away from the life I was meant to have with him, but it is getting easier every day and I am excited for what’s next in my life.”
—Anonymous, United States
